Poem, Heartbreak, Heart-opening

I wanted to protect myself from heartbreak.
To just push away all the uncomfortable feelings and pain.
To move on
Forget.
I did put on some armour
Played out a role.
Played to be approved.
Played to be loved.
Played in order to avoid being rejected.
This seemed to work for a while.
Existence wanted otherwise.

Deep heartbreak.
Tears rushing down my cheeks
Body shaking
For a moment giving up
Facades dropping away

For a moment
Totally wide open
Accepting what I feel
Open to the rejection of someone else
Being embraced by Existence
May seem like a contradiction
That you understand and deeply feel you are all accepted
when you in the Moment accept the rejection by someone else.

I did put on this thick layers of armour
To protect myself from becoming hurt.
To protect myself from pain
Protect myself from becoming rejected
Hindering me to really feel the
Soft Breeze
To Really Experience Life in the Moment

Always had this insecurity
Fear of that others may hurt me
Fear and mistrust of Existence
Now when armour is dropped
I find out that Existence is embracing me
Touching me gently.
There is nothing to fear.
Just rest and trust
And dare to let go off your armour.
The armour that is sheilding your heart from Life
That is pushing away Life from connecting with your Heart.

/Anders Branderud, 31/12-2014

Poem, Armour shielding heart falls off

Completely touched
Heart meeting heart
Hearts uniting in unity
Feeling this deep love inside.
Heart pulsating love.
Looking deep into loving eyes.
Finding self within
Finding love within.

Whatever blocked this deep meeting
Just fades away in this openness.

Armour shielding heart falls off
A vulnerable heart is exposed to existence.
Heartbeat after hearbeat
Life is flowing
Running in the veins
All without effort.

Poem, Christmas

It is Christmas night
This beautiful delight
Bright shining light.
Lighting up the outside
Do we let the light of Life/Existence light up our inside?
To uncover and shine upon our dusty corners

Decorations outside in trees, stores and homes
And decorations on our Being inside. On our Inner Home.
Decorations to hide what we really feel?

Giving of gifts
Selfless love or
Seeking of approval?
Playing different roles
In this theatre of Life

Under the Christmas wrappings
Under the many layers of covers and masks
That we have wrapped our soul in
Hiding
Not daring to open up

Celebrating Christmas but not letting others open up the
Neatly wrapped Package of our soul

The truest Christmas gift
The Gift of Life
Receive this gift from existence
A Meeting where we allow ourselves to remove the layers covering
The depths of our Being
Where we allow a Deep meeting to take place
Where soul connects with soul
Instead of a facade connecting with a facade

Christmas
Cold outside
Let the Sun of Existence
Melt the frozen layers
Of attachments and  identities
Covering your ever pulsating
Vibrantly Alive Heart

A true Christmas gift
The gift that Existence offers in every Moment.
Embrace this gift
Embrace this Moment

Poem, Playful

In the midst of the light waters

In the midst of the raging sea

In the midst of the deep stillness

There is a place for you and me

Swimming

Floating

Flowing

Playing Abounding

Beautiful abundance

A rich treasure

Poem, Sand castle

Like a sand castle in the sand
Elaborate, magnificent
It took years of hard labour to build up this castle.
Put in alot of effort and suffering in building this castle.
Castle of ego structures
Ornamented
Layers of protection to protect from the outer surroundings.
Heart Armour to protect from feeling the inner sorroundings.
This seemingly harsh and harmful reality called Life

And one day there is this realisation that this castle is the root of my suffering
I am missing Life in my attempt to protect myself.
Life is Love and I am trying to protect myself from Love.
The very thing that I am searching for.

Putting down the spade.
Stopping to put effort into this elaborate castle building.
The wind, the rain and other weather phenomena is slowly making it weaker
And there is no effort to build up what it tears down

Feeling vulnerable and naked.
When the wind is blowing
Seemingly mercilessly, but yet filled with grace to its very core
Hitting directly to my very core.

Shaking
Shaping
Sharing
The gift of being all vulnerable and open.
Stopping to play the game of hiding.

Poem, A deep meeting of love

Deep meeting

It makes me feel so alive

It is so completely nourishing...

So fulfilling

So deeply touching Heart cries out of joy

Oh the joy

Oh the satisfaction of this connection.

Flying on a cloud.
So,so,so touched.
Like an inner deep wave
Inner tsunami of wellbeing
Feeling it's core

Feeling the waves hit the shore

And gently spread out.
A smooth and gently touch
Touching both the finegrained stones and the rough neglected stones

Welcoming and embracing of every expression

Seeing. 
The unique value and potential of everyone.
Waves bringing stones back into the deep blue ocean.
Ocean of Love

Ocean of Life

The forming place
Where the rough edges of ego falls away
And, the true core of Being can shine.

Shine like the sun sharing her beautiful expression with everyone

Generously sharing her love and truth.
Opening and touching hearts
Melting snow and ice of hearts covered in layers of protection armour.

This deep relaxation

Warm embracing inner movement
So deeply touching..
Positively overwhelming.
Inner waves of deep silence
Of Extreme wellbeing

Waves of deep, deep relaxation.

All so nourishing
Revitalising the whole being.
Touching the very core 
Healing
Transforming.
Opening up

For the River of life to flow

Flow. Through this Whole being
Without any blockades

This deep meeting is like a poem.
Effortlessly flowing
Connecting heart to heart

Depth to depth

Hearts dancing

Embracing moment by moment

Movement by movement

Lost in the dance

Lost in the wonder of Life

Lost in total fascination

Amazement

Wonder

Of how a deep meeting with another

Can bring you into the very Core

Intimacy of Being

/Anders Branderud

Poem, A boat anchored to a safe harbour

What am I desiring.

What am I wanting

To be deeply embraced

To feel I am safe

To feel I am loved

To feel I am home


To be A boat anchored to a safe harbour

Embraced and loved by THE deep blue ocean

Caressed and cared for by the Soft breeze

Loved and shone upon by the warming sun

Gently looked upon and watched over by the moon.

Embraced by all surrounding, shining stars.


Being a resting place for the birds

Being anchored to the firm ground of Existence.

A meeting place for deep meetings.

A meeting place in midst of the raging storm

In the midst of waves of stillness and tranquillity.

To be open and sensitive


To Flow in stillness

To Flow with all waves

To receive it all

Fully accepting

Not judging.

Poem, Healing child within

A warm embrace

A very touching meeting

Healing the child within

Embracing the pain

Firm and steadfast arms

Holding each other


Warm, welcoming, accepting

Digging through layers of pain..

Healing


The child within that never was embraced

The arms that held her all wanted something

Wanted and needed love

Always conditional love
This unconscious wanting and desiring

Not truly accepting you for the one you are

Wanting you to give love.


Held by accepting arms

Non demanding touching embrace.

Unconditionally loved

Taken cared by Existence

Fully accepted. fully loved

All accepting Embrace by Existence


Simplicity. Spontaneity

Facades are dropped.

An honest meeting between two open hearts.

A deep meeting Takes place.

Poem, Deep pain

A poem that I started to write in the midst of strong emotional pain that lasted for some hours. I haven't felt this for some months and there really isn't anything in my life right now that is causing it;
but I felt it many times in the past (being bullied, conflicts in relationships, etc.), and something triggered some unresolved emotional pain from the past. In this poem I am digging deep to try to find the root cause - the real cause of this deep unresolved pain - which really doesn't have to do with anyone or anything on the outside.:


Welcome doubts

Doubts of where to be

Doubts of if I am safe


Am I at the right place

Am I welcomed

Can I trust.

Can I be


Is there a place for me called Home?

How does it look like?

Are my expectations fooling me

What is this mistrust

Am I mistrusting myself?

Am I mistrusting life?


This searching for love

Searching for life

Searching for Home

Restlessness

Feeling of not belonging.

This feeling felt many times.

At work

Get-togethers

Religious groups.

Family. Friends.



What triggers it?
This insecurity?
This fear and mistrust of others, of life?


Swimming deep in this sea of insecurities, doubts and mistrust.
Events that triggers this.
A deep subconscious feeling.
Feeling of being rejected.
Feeling of not being cared for.
Of being hurt.
A big sea of past hurts and traumas.


Shifting from contentment.
To a black hole.
Hard to know where others are.


Do they care.
Do they love.
Can I trust.
Do they care for me in my sea
Of heaviness and mistrust.


Is there patience to let it be.
Until it disolves.
Until it connects.
Until it flows over.
Into  the ocean of love.


This protection mechanism.
This dam blocking.
Slowly, slowly, it is losings its power.
Slowly the dam is perforated
When I can just be with it.
Be with all feelings without judging them.
Be with all that is within me without any judgment.


When I let the hidden, unwelcomed parts
To connect with the Big, Ever-Welcoming
Ever deeply-accepting Ocean of Love and Acceptance.


A hug.
A warm embrace.
Intimacy. Closeness.
Words, body contact.
Just being.
Just letting the feelings of hurt be without any judgment.
Evening passes. Feelings shift.


Feelings come and go like waves in the deep blue ocean.
The Deep Blue Ocean of Love embraces it All.
And pushes no one away.
It is One with All.
Fully united.
There is No Separation.
Only Love and Acceptance.

Poem, Meeting Existence in the shower

This longing in my heart that two should become one.
As warm water pour down my skin.
Warming up my cold body.
Deep embracing Love in a Meeting.
Pouring down and saturating my soul.

All in my solitude and suddenly this Meeting with Existence takes place.
So beauiful when drops fall in the water of the ground.
Making ripples in the light-reflection of the puddle.
So ordinary, but so extraordinary.
Brings my full attention.
Fully enjoying the Moment.
Not desiring anything else.

Poem, Letting doubts melt by the warm fire.

Oh these doubts
Surfacing again and again
What do they want to tell?
That I am not trusting life?
Am I afraid of being rejected?
Afraid of failing?
Of not being good enough?
Listening to my heart beating
Feeling the feelings
Hearing the doubts knocking on the door of my heart for attention.
They want a place in the Holy, Sacred place.
By the warm, burning fire.

Sitting by the warm Still fire of Presence.
Fire of Full Acceptance to Life
Letting it warm and open up my heart.
Letting the heat melt all attachments.
Attachments to doubts.
And other deep-rooted structures.

Resting in front of the fire.
Effortlessly sitting and Being
Doubts are still here.
Worries are still here.
Embraced by the Fire of Embracing Stillness and Love.
They lose their strong grip.
And now I feel at Peace.
I experience the Soul at Rest.
Like it always is when I am not caught up in a stressful story.

/Anders Branderud

Poem, Be like a piano

This beauty
Just go deep within.
Be still like a piano.
Be completely open.
A vessel of the Master-Composer
To express the beautiful melody.
One tone after another tone

Be in the Moment
Embrace it all in trust
Be in the Flow
Grounded to the earth
Be your true self.
A harmonious instrument.
Part of the divine play.
Just play along.
In this beautiful song.

Poem, Birds twittering

Wonderful birds twittering
I have heard their soft voices before
Reminding us just to be
Observing the beauty in midst of all stress and problems
Stillness is calling
Stillness is waiting

Poem, Diving Deeper

Diving deeper
Touching depths never explored before
Deep blue sea
Diving towards ground
Ground of Being

Been snorkling all my Life
Afraid to Explore
The depths of Who I am
Of what Life is
Learning to Swim with the Flow
Like a fish
All natural
Fully absorbed in the Moment
Letting the Flow of Existence guide me
It is so easy when embracing the Now
Going deeper and deeper
Deep calling to deep.

Flow dragging me into the depths of this.
Deep blue ocean
Going deeper and deeper
Into my Heart
Into the Heart of Life
Into this Deep Mystery
Vibrant Pulsating Heartbeats of Life
Feeling Grounded
Feeling trust
Feeling so completely Here
Feeling Love
Feeling so Nourished and Saturated
In this ever moving pulsating Flow

Poem, Hugged by Existence

Hugged by Existence
Looking into Her Eyes
Sinking Deeper and Deeper
Worries melt away as heart
Is melting into her heart.
Identities drop away as eyes go deeper and deeper
Sinking into a deep blue sea of love

Whose eyes is it?
It just loses its significance.
In this deep meeting.
In this deep heartfelt connection.

Boundaries melt away.
The dissolve.
As eyes melt into eyes
Heart melts into heart.
Two melt into One.
Illusion of separation
Melts into Reality of Unity
Heart feels so vibrantly alive
When relaxed into the truth
And stillness of the Present Moment.

Instead of Egoic Conflicts
Unconditional Love
Instead of possessing one another
Freedom
Letting go

Every meeting a New Moment
Without requirements, expectations and fàcades
Instead of constantly searching, and the occasional temporary joy of finding what you are desiring.
The Serenity of accepting what Existence provides you.
Unconditional Love
In Every Moment
Regardless of what persons, objects or situations that appear on your Path.

Love-Life
Expressing Herself
Not concerned about Identities
Eye color and other facades
When identities are dropped
A truly, deep and authentic meeting takes place.

Poem, Do you love me.

Self
Do you Love me
In my insecurities
In my pain
In my longing to be whole

Everything is just a reflection
Of what you feel Inside
A reflection in the Deep Blue Ocean.
Ocean of Stillness
Ocean of Deep Embracing Love

Feeling so vulnerable
So open to be formed by Existence
Open for the warmth of the Ocean to grind the stones into jewels
To dig deeper
To see what is awaiting.
To sink deeper into this Endless Love
To fall through the many layers of protection that the ego has created throughout life.
Into the Very Core of Undistorted Perception
Experiencing Existence Afresh
Always New
Always Now
And not through a distorted lens.

Poem, Forest path

As I walk upon the forest path.
Autumn leaves spread out in a thick layer.
Yellow, orange, brown, a colorful mixture.
This path
Where does it take me?
I can see a bit ahead.
But I don't know what is waiting for me.

In this magical forest
This mystery called life
I take one step
I take another step
Effortlessly my legs are moving.

Sometimes there are uphills
Some more effort is required.
It can feel wearisome, heavy.
Some old attachments come up to surface.
Wants my attention.
Tries to take me focus away from this Current Step.

From the beautiful Forest.
From the wonderous leafs.
The pleasant twittering of birds.
The cold breeze.
The fresh autumn smell.
The wonders of the Present Moment.
The aliveness of my body.
The shifting colours of Life.

Suddenly I identify with the uphills.
I forget who I truly am.
I get so attached to the uphills.
I forget that there is no problem in this very Moment.

I get reminded.
Then I go deep within.
I breath deeply.
I focus on the Current Step.
When I just accept the current inner and outer surroundings of the
Path that Existence is leading me on.
That I can just walk step by step.
Without worrying about where this Path will lead me.
Trusting Existence.
That She will keep me safe.
That all is Perfectly Well.

Anders Branderud [More poems: http://stillnesspoems.blogspot.com/ ]

Poem, Do we have to judge each other?

Do we have to judge each other?
Try to figure each other out?
Like we are some static, predictable persons?
Or can we just meet without judgments?
Relate without mental ideas of each other?

Just meet in the Now
In the Present Moment.
Hug. Talk. Have eye-contact. Laugh. Tickle. Cry.
Connect. Be quiet.
Flow together.
And experience this myster called life.
This ever-renewing Moment.
To see Life afresh.
Like a child.
Fascinated by every movement.
And every Moment.

A heart beating.
A bird twittering.
Eyes meeting and making contact.
Sandness of eyes.
A wonderful meeting.
Laughter.
Smiling.
A leaf on the ground.

Grounded with the Heart
Existence is never boring or bad.
Only our filtering of existence seen through a past and future-lens.

All so ordinary
But all so extraordinary
When you clean your glasses from judgments and attachments.
Then life flows unfiltered right through the glasses and your eyes.
Pulsating through your body.
Energy moving freely.
Connected to your heart.
Free from everything that distorted your perception.
And suddenly a realization.
All is perfect.

Ugly turns into beautiful.
Struggles turn into opportunities.
A no to life turns into a yes to life.
When ou leave your overloaded bag of attachments.
And replace it with the light bag of The Present Moment.

Poem, Divine play

This beauty
Just go deep within.
Be still like a piano.
Be completely open.
A vessel for the Master-composer.
To express the beautiful melody.

One tone
Another tone.
Be in the Moment.
Embrace it all in trust.
Be in the flow.
Be your true self.
A harmonious instrument.
Part of a divine Play.
Just play along.
Embrace the song.

Poem, A master piece of art.

Life
This Beautiful Magical Mystery
Dancing Flow
Vivid colors
Uniting
Dancing
Blending into a magnificent diversity
A master piece of art.
A dynamic fullness of Life

Everyone different
Like different colors of a painting
But in essence
Only One
Spontaneously expressing their uniqueness.
Combined into various forms and shapes.

Single beautiful strokes.
Even more beautiful when they unite and flow together.
All beautiful regardless of whether they are aware or not of their beauty.
Or whether they judge each other, and themselves or not.

"I want to be blue"
"I want to be orange"
Rest in being a unique and wonderful expression of Consciousness
A perfect expression of a flawless painting

And be all absorbed in the Now
Let your life flow.
As a stroke of a brush.
Spontaneously flowing on the drawing.
Totally absorbed in the flow of being.

Stroke by stroke.
Moment by moment.
Movement by movement

Poem, Furnace of burning fires

Furnace of burning fires

Flames of stillness

Burn up your attachements and desires

Let it all be consumed by the flames

Purging your heart

Of all the layers that hinder the heart from pumping freely.


Deeply touching stillness

Heartfelt gratitude of life

Deep calling deep

Poem, Arms wide open

Touching love

Deep meeting

Holding hands

Expressing love

So accepting

So warm


Warming up a heart

That once was frozen

And Now vibrates

So alive

So full of energy

So engaged in this mystery

Called Life

So fully enjoying the Now


Going deeper into this warm embracing stillness

Going deeper into this deep connection

So touched by this closeness

Heartfulness

Beauty


Heart opens more, and more and more

Until the door is all wide open.

Open for everything that Life has to offer.

Heart wide open

Feeling all that Life brings.

Eyes wide open

Not hiding for Existence.

Ears wide open

Listening to the quite voice of Stillness

Nose wide open

Sensitive to all Wonders of Life

Mouth wide open

To all the tastes that Life brings,,sweet and sour


Widely embracing Life

A big Yes to Life

All embracing every flavour that Life expresses itself in

with Arms wide open